Without realizing it, I have become a model friend, admired by my loved ones for my ability to maintain relationships. Recently, a close friend sought my advice on how to stay connected with her community while juggling work and personal well-being.
Loneliness is a significant issue in the U.S., with many people opting for technology over personal connections. A May 12 poll by the American Psychiatric Association revealed that 8% of Americans claim to have no close friends, according to a 2023 survey by the Pew Research Center involving about 5,000 U.S. adults.
Some businesses are now offering services to help foster friendships, including adult summer camps and friendship coaching, which can be quite costly. Jessica D. Ayers, an assistant professor of psychological science at Boise State University, notes that friendships can fade for various reasons, such as relocating for work or different life stages, as well as the challenge of keeping up through social media.
Ayers emphasizes that maintaining friendships is beneficial not just for others but also for oneself. Staying in touch can enhance well-being, reduce feelings of loneliness and depression, lower anxiety, and even improve survival rates following major surgeries.
The mutual benefits of friendships are particularly evident in long-lasting relationships. Ayers references an ongoing 88-year Harvard University happiness study, which indicates that strong social connections contribute to a longer, healthier, and more fulfilling life.
While maintaining friendships may seem daunting, I've developed several strategies to keep in touch with my community. I schedule regular one-on-one meetings with friends, make time for birthday celebrations, and actively participate in multiple group chats.
Having grown up in a large family, I learned the importance of supporting one another. I often reach out to friends when they come to mind, host small gatherings, and make an effort to visit friends who live in different states at least once a year.
Ayers supports these practices, stating that even a simple message to a friend can be a valuable gesture. She encourages individuals to prioritize reaching out, emphasizing that it doesn't have to happen frequently but should convey appreciation.
Ayers advises focusing on friendships grounded in intrinsic qualities rather than superficial traits. She suggests contributing to each friendship by investing time and energy, reminding individuals to recognize their value in these relationships.
For friends living nearby, Ayers recommends taking conversations offline whenever possible. She encourages inviting friends to join in everyday activities, such as running errands or attending children's sporting events, to foster connections without added pressure.